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Literature Text
We were ships passing in an open bay,
our red sails melting like an eclipse;
in that moment, we filtered out all light
and let our eyes glow from beneath our lids;
but moments are fleeting and ships pass
and our anchors drop in the close embrace
of other harbours.
our red sails melting like an eclipse;
in that moment, we filtered out all light
and let our eyes glow from beneath our lids;
but moments are fleeting and ships pass
and our anchors drop in the close embrace
of other harbours.
Literature
douleur
heaven is slung low
brushing faces, gathering
cherry pit debris
Literature
day 305 of heartbreak.
"i know you love me."
darling ,
i love the way you look at me
with eyes full of adoration .
(but that gleam has disappeared)
i love the way we gab and gab
about nothing and everything
at the same time .
(but we haven't spent a 4am together
in quite some time)
i love the way we can fight through
the thorns of life together .
(but now my body is filled with splinters)
i love the way you tell me i'm beautiful
and i know you mean it in every way .
(but now you can't even stand the sight of me)
i'm going through the motions
of heartbreak ,
the stages of grief.
listening to your ramblings
about how you think you know me .
but the thing
Literature
Reykjavik For Lezayre
so slip, i stumble. fumble with the
doorknob and your key falls with me
im falling into - there you are
i see you in
these ports and the sea foam shades
of the fog that parts at dawn the day
before i find myself - here you are
i want to be left alone but -
it was the taste, salty and too sweet
it was too much and my tongue
is not appeasing or the tricks
that tease -
come close. still this one last time
there’s something underneath your
skin steady i want
inside
you - to see, how i memorize you
in every gasp that splits the air around
us and when you cum - crashing
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© 2014 - 2024 comatose-comet
Comments30
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First things first; what really grabbed me here was the title. I love that title; it is so eloquent, and it already manages to evoke images. A fleet of maybes, a navy of what ifs. I could ramble about this for a while, I just consider the title itself a stroke of genius. It makes my small writer's soul very happy to read. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="357" title="Heart"/>
The one thing I find rather tiring about this is the subject. It is not a new one (but then, these days, what is?), and I personally feel I've seen this, read this, maybe even wrote it too many times before, so the theme appears cliché and I feel overfed with it - you save yourself though, through the brevity of this and the metaphors.
It's not "a shared smile, never saw them again", but it's ships sailing past each other, and instead of simply going into different directions, they "let their anchors drop in the close embrace / of other harbours". Those last two lines reconciled me with your piece, because - again - pure genius, beautiful metaphor, wonderfully worded! Maybe ships need harbours more than they need other ships?
All in all, this very nicely puts the feeling into words you get when looking at strangers through a bus window, wondering if you could love any of them, wondering if any of them could love you. I adore the ships-metaphor so much the "let our eyes glow beneath our lids" part almost feels too human to me, but that might be personal preference here.
Very nice work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="60" title="Clap"/>